#secrets
I’ve written ten thousand words
Yet hundreds of secrets remain
They WANT to be named
And because I’m silencing them
There is screaming in my brain.
When a secret is released
It breaks a link in a chain
And I have this great hope
That the world will change
And this great despair when
Everything and everyone stays the same.
They weren’t my secrets to take
To the grave
They weren’t my mistakes
I never imagined
People would claim
My secret were something I’d create
Something fake
I NEVER wanted attention
I told my secrets for other children’s sake
Ten years have passed to the day!
Since I finally had my say
After 30 years of silence
The words finally found their way
And I thought
I would feel changed
Liberated
Or free
But I just feel exposed
And lonely.
Now I can’t pretend!
That nothing happened
With all those men.
I have to face all the truths
And to what end?
The world does NOT care
About the victim.
So what am I to do now
My secrets were denied
So the rest will just
Crawl into crevices and hide
In the scars
I will have to confide
The rest of the secrets
Will stay locked within my mind
And the trauma will stay frozen
In time.
The ghosts of my past are tangible
They are tightly within my grasp.
But my present self
Barely exists
I am unnoticed
And dismissed
And it’s painfully clear
When I am gone
I will not be missed
Because we live in a world
That does not let us tell
Our secrets
Not.My.Secret 